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Why Do I Have to Make Amends?

Why Do I Have to Make Amends?

Addiction is a disease that impacts everyone in our lives. If we are to know true freedom in sobriety, we must clean up the wreckage of our past. This means going through a process of making amends to those whom we have harmed. When we go to the people we have harmed and sincerely make amends, we will find that a weight has been lifted from us and we are no longer in living in fear or shame.

After going through a process of honest and fearless self-appraisal, we will see our fault in the harms we caused in the past. The Big Book explains, “Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.” It may be a frightening prospect, but the amends process requires us to put our recovery program into action.

Making amends requires more than just saying we are sorry. Many of us have apologized to our loved ones countless times for the harms we caused them, but we continue causing further harm as a result of the selfishness and self-centeredness resulting from our addiction. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous explains, “We must take the lead. A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won’t fit the bill at all.” We must be aware that our loved ones make be skeptical about our change, and may not be willing to forgive us until they see our dedication to sobriety and our honest desire to set right past harms.

The process of making amends may be different for everyone. There may even be some people who, for a variety of reasons, we are unable to make amends to. In situations like this, “we don’t worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could.” Other amends may require postponement, but only with valid reason. If we are painstaking about the amends process, the Big Book states: “We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.”

Treatment should be more than a program. When you joined Anchored Recovery, you join a community of individuals committed to sobriety. Our full continuum of care can help you seamlessly transition from detox through every phase of treatment you need to ensure lifelong sobriety. Call us today for information: 800.848.6168

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